As I am reading Raj’s reflections, I am just finishing Adam Kahane’s new book “Power and Love”. I was struck by how one of the most powerful sources of power is relational power. In a quote from Edward Chambers, he says: “People who can understand the concerns of others and mix those concerns with their own agenda have access to a power source dnied to those who can push only their own interests. In this fuller understanding “power” is a verb meaning “to give and take”, “ to be reciprocal”, “to be influenced as well as to influence”. To be affected in another in relationship is as true a sign of power as the capacity to affect others. Relational power is infinite and unifying, not limited and divisive. It’s additive and multiplicative, not subtractive and divisive. As you beomce more powerful, so do those in relationship with you. As they become more powerful, so do you. This is power understood as relational, as power with [or to achieve and realize], not power over.” P.95

Power and love are therefore two strands of a braid that need to be in balance, power to achieve a purpose and love to unite and align what has been separate. As leaders, this is our job. We will naturally stumble as we are ourselves more comfortable with power or love. Some situations will leave us fearful to step into either, they will challenge us to be moving from generative power or love to their shadow degenerative side. And to not give up but to keep stepping in and to unite with others who can provide the balance is our work.

So, the stillness that let’s us recognize where we are in this balancing act, that let’s us come to a pause that allows our energy to refocus for our work and the relationships we need to realize our own and our larger purpose with others really is the cycle we need to pay attention to.